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Delesha:

  Candy, I’m off at 2pm so let me know if you want to go to Nordstrom’s today.  I left my phone in the house :-(.  I still debating whether or not I want to take off tomorrow.  What do you think? Should I take off tomorrow and Friday?

Me:

  NO! Just ONE day! Wait no! DON’T TAKE OFF YET!
B______  just called me at lunch and said he’s coming to Philly soon, and then straight to Iraq from there. So I might end up taking a day off for him and I’ll want him to meet all my friends (all being YOU, AMBER, ALEX, AND AISHA… WOOooo so many friends. lmao!!!!) BUT… if i HAD TO suggest ONE day to take off, I’d say make it friday so you can make it seem like a 3 day weekend. OH, and YES! I WANNA GO TO NORDSTROMS RACK!!!!

Delesha:

ok I won’t take off at all.  I’ll just ride the rest of the week out and take do some cleaning when I get home.So Nordstrom’s tomorrow?

Me:

Noooo, today!I thought you said you were getting off at 2?
:-(
NO Nordstroms?SADNESS!!!

Delesha:

I am getting off at 2 but you never said which day you wanted to go to Nordstrom’s.  You just said you wanted to go so I was confused LOL

Me:

We need to go to friendship counseling.Why do we always have communication confusion?DO BETTER!!!!!WE gone be like Brandy and that chick from her show.LMAO!I WANTS TO GO TODAY!I was gonna get a MANICURE after work, but that can wait till tomorrow.NORDSTROMS!NORDSTROMS!NORD-NORD-NORD- NORD!!!!TODAY!!!!

Delesha:

she finally says I want to go to Nordstrom’s today after just sayingI want to go to Nordstrom’s a hundred times  lolstop treating me like Your Ex-boyfriend! LOL

Me:

Okay… let us analyze this conversation for a moment:

Delesha:

Candy,
I’m off at 2pm so let me know if you want to go to Nordstrom’s today.  I left my phone in the house :-(.

I still debating whether or not I want to take off tomorrow.  What do you think?
Should I take off tomorrow and Friday?

Me:

NO!
Just ONE day!
Wait no!
DON’T TAKE OFF YET!
Bryson just called me at lunch and said he’s coming to Philly soon, and then straight to
Iraq from there.
So I might end up taking a day off for him and I’ll want him to meet all my friends
(all being YOU, AMBER, ALEX, AND AISHA… WOOooo so many friends. lmao!!!!)
BUT… if i HAD TO suggest ONE day to take off, I’d say make it friday so you can make
it seem like a 3 day weekend.
OH, and YES!
I WANNA GO TO NORDSTROMS RACK!!!!

SIDE NOTE: I thought that by answering YES, I was answering YES to the initial proposed question, which was let me know if you want to go to nordstrom’s rack TODAY! Little did she know, she REALLY needed to SPECIFY something that was already implied.
ROOM FOR FRIEND’S/AUDIENCE’S THOUGHTS:______________________________________________________
LOL!!

Delesha:

First question by Delesha

Delesha: 

Candy, I’m off at 2pm so let me know if you want to go to Nordstrom’s Rack today? 
Candra begins her email with  

Candra:   No! The answer to Delesha’s first question is no.
Then Delesha asks Candra is she should take off.
Delesha: I’m still debating whether or not I want to take off tomorrow. 
What do you think? Should I take off tomorrow and Friday?  
Candra: Just ONE day! Wait no! DON’T TAKE OFF YET!  
Candra then adds some details about Bryson and suggests Delesha take off on a friday.  Candra proceeds to say she’d like to go to Nordstrom’s Rack……………. but when????? since she already said no to today.  Now that’s how I read your email.  Sort of confusing to me.

Candra:

Candra’s interpretation:
Delesha:

Candy,
I’m off at 2pm so let me know if you want to go to Nordstrom’s today.  I left my phone in the house :-(.

I still debating whether or not I want to take off tomorrow.  What do you think?

Should I take off tomorrow and Friday?

NO!
Just ONE day!
Wait no!
DON’T TAKE OFF YET!
Bryson just called me at lunch and said he’s coming to Philly soon, and then straight to
Iraq from there.
So I might end up taking a day off for him and I’ll want him to meet all my friends
(all being YOU, AMBER, ALEX, AND AISHA… WOOooo so many friends. lmao!!!!)
BUT… if i HAD TO suggest ONE day to take off, I’d say make it friday so you can make
it seem like a 3 day weekend.
OH, and YES!

I WANNA GO TO NORDSTROMS RACK!!!!

Candra’s Intended Answer Placements:
Candy,
I’m off at 2pm so let me know if you want to go to Nordstrom’s today.  
—> OH, and YES! I WANNA GO TO NORDSTROMS RACK!!!!
I left my phone in the house
:-(
 
I still debating whether or not I want to take off tomorrow.  
What do you think? Should I take off tomorrow and Friday? 
—> NO! Just ONE day! Wait no! DON’T TAKE OFF YET!…BUT… if i HAD TO suggest ONE day to take off, I’d say make it friday so you can make
it seem like a 3 day weekend.

Delesha:

In the future I’ll number my questions to avoid potential confusion.hahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahah 
1.  What time would you like to go to Nordstrom’s TODAY 1-19- 11? 
2.  Where should we meet before we go to Nordstrom’s? 
3.  What time do you plan on going to the gym TODAY?

Candra:

1. SUCK MY
2. MUTHA F***IN
3. D***
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!I can’t stand you.

In a perfect daydream, I have subordinates who’s sole duties (hehe… duties, get it) would be to change the color on my nails and toenails every 2 hours, bring me bottomless Grande White Mochas with skim milk and no whipped cream from Starbucks, and give me musical theatre during lunch breaks like Grease, or Singing in the Rain.

My supervisor would be Stevie Wonder, and often he’d ask me to come to his office to write down the amazing new songs that enter his brain as he sings them out to me. He’d ask me to take extended breaks so that I could go out and see people interact and come back and report what I’ve seen so he could compose it into a song.

Salad would make you fat, wherein the #10 value meal at McDonald’s (10 piece nuggets, medium fries and a drink) would be considered a low calorie meal.

One day on lunch, I’d bump into that chick who hit my car, and smack the shit outta her and not be held legally responsible for being the cause of making her now mentally ill.

And finally… I’d randomly break into song and people would join in with me to my unwritten lyrics and choreography would just miraculously bestow it’s self upon us all.

I know… I’ve been pretty M.I.A. for the past ump-teen weeks. Tell me what to write about. Any suggestions?

Do you realize Prince is 52 years old?
HE LOOKS SO FREAKING YOUNG!
YOUNGER THAN ME EVEN!
I better step my game up.

lol